won't u ?

talk to me , won’t u ?

look at me , won’t u ?

listen to me , won’t u ?

share with me , won’t u ?

come to me , won’t u ?

reply me , won’t u ?

hanya Allah buat saya .

bibir terkunci rapat ,
menelan kata zahir y tak bisa terungkap ,
mata tertutup rapat ,
mengalir mutiara jernih y penuh tersirat .
Ya Allah ,
biar terkunci dan tertutup rapat ,
hanya kasihMu y paling hebat .

siapa saya ?

ianya ADALAH saya .
silau mata melihat diriku ,
ketat bibir berbicara denganku ,
telinga pijar mendengar ungkapanku ,
menjadikan ,
ianya BUKAN saya .

sometimes .

assalamualaikum w.b.t frenzz .

sometimes ,,

what i told here is not exactly what i feel ,,

sometimes ,,

the things that i wanted the most is the thing that i tend to keep quiet about ,,

sometimes ,,

i smile gracefully whilst my heart is flooding with tears ,,

sometimes ,,

i become quiet for you to talk to me ,,

sometimes ,,

i become very proud and not wanting to lose ..

but,,

always ,,

i would share what i truly feel with Allah s.w.t ,,

always ,,

i told Allah s.w.t the things that i want everyday , every time ,,

always ,,

i pour all of my tears whenever i'm facing HIM ,,

always ,,

i become talkative with you Ya Allah , repenting all my sins and praying for my future ,,

always ,,

i admit my weaknesses and pray everybody around safe and sound .

is it it ?

assalamualaikum w.b.t frenss .

may Allah s.w.t bless you and always be in a good state .

well , it is regarding the thing the i've been pouring , doodling in my last entry ..

since the call from my mom , i've been doing salatul istikharah (solat sunat istikharah) .

i'll do it most of the time after pray .

i'm begging Allah s.w.t to show me the path that i should follow .

i'm nothing but a clueless person about what is going to happen in the future .

so , i'll be needing HIS guide .

till now , i didn't get any dream when i'm asleep .

today , when i'm walking towards my car *my brother's car* after finishing my class ,

after saying goodbye to Adib and promising to meet her tomorrow .

suddenly i felt uneasy . feels like something is going to happen .

so i get into the car and sit for awhile .

i really don't know why .

will i be in an accident on my way back home , is something bad will come approaching .

my chest hurt , my sweat are pouring like mad .

i felt almost something really really bad are going to happen .

i did some zikir in the car and start my journey .

it might take less than 5 minute to get at my home but so many things could happen in the road , who knows ?

i kept saying the zikir throughout my driving until i reach home .

Alhamdulillah , Alhamdulillah , Alhamdulillah Ya Allah .

i'm able to arrive safely .

but what is the uneasy thing all about ?

i've kept thinking about this since the evening .

it even causes me headache ,.

maybe i dun do zikir much often and HE is mad with me .

Please forgive me Ya Allah .

you're the only place where i pray , ask and beg .

no one other than YOU .

please forgive this forgetful girl

Ya Allah , help me .

assalamualaikum w.b.t frens .

too much of extension in putting up my entri .

and now with my story .

what is the saddest thing happened in your life? .

well , for me ,

when your parents asked you to quit study .

i’m studying in private university so the fee is a bit costy .

not a bit I would say , TOO COSTY .

i've just started my study in november 2010 .

i’ll finish my study in april 2013 .

it will be another 2 years to finish it .

and now my father asked me to quit it .

i’ve applied MARA loan before and i got rejected .

it really gives pain in my ass especially my dad’s when it comes to paying the fee .

i knew that it is expensive .

but thinking of getting to graduate soon , hurmmm , i dont know .

i’m a progression students so i got subjects exemption which lessen my years of studies .

and started at semester 3 .

if i were to quit , i’ve to start all over again from semester one , for 3 years .

the first time he asked me to quit when i told him the sum to pay this semester .

and just now my mother called me saying that my father has the number of a lecturer

teaching in government university.

please Allah , help me out here . please . i’ve no more tears to let go .